we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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