I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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