he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
