god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What drink are we having for lunch?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
