I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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