how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
