I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
