I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
