There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
