So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
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Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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