I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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