she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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