they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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