I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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