we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
