Barsexuality is the new black.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I need moral support for this bender
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
