It's Friday. Sex?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
