We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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