Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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