I just cut my nipple shaving
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
They are going to name an STD after you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
