Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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