Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
