I must be too annoying 4 u.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
