I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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