Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
