thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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