He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
