whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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