well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
