I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
