hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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