I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
