Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm passing your future prison.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
