I skipped work to stalk him.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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