So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
