Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
