My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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