Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize