I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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