Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
