After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize