apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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