Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
