I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
