East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it's like heaven, but drunker
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
