oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
that's an acceptable place to lick
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
