Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
