He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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