Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize