There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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