32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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