you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
