im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
