how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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