Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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